apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
