Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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