Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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