honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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