so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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