he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
