and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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