they need to just BURY HIM!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
