I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
