what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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