I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
