Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
