i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
