If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
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