Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He is an equal opportunity slut.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
