apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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