she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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