I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
