she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
