one might say we're banned from that church
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
