just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
