So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
