I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
