Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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