My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
