If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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