Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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