I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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