help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
