I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
