dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
