I'm lost and stupid without you.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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