And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
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I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
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Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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