Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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