break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
