I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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