I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
id be glad to
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
