the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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