You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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