You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Someone came in the potted fern
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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