chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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