i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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