I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
