I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
