i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
