Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
