Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I didn't shave. On purpose
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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