I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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