I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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