Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize