I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
