I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
