Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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