you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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