True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize