He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
