we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
