its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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