also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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