I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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