A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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