During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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