he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize