Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
